The minute rapper Coolio finished his set at The Goose, the crowd made a stampede for the door.
It was too late.
Word had already spread throughout the Hill and downtown about Coolio’s really late, short and unbelievably sound-challenged set.
Last week, locals were surprised to hear that rapper Coolio was playing Boulder’s Goose on Saturday. The doors of the Hill club were set to open after 5 p.m., and the hip-hop artist was supposed to take the stage by 7 p.m. , so the show could avoid noise ordinance problems.
However, only a handful of tickets had been sold by 7:15 p.m. and the Goose was very empty. The doormen told people the showtime had been pushed back and that Coolio would be on by 8 p.m.
Potential patrons poked their heads in, but no Coolio at 8, 8:30 or even 9 p.m. The audience laughingly started taking bets on whether the rapper would even show. The club moderately filled up, but a lot of the patrons said they had been on the “guest list.”
The audience started to get really antsy, until Coolio finally hit the stage at 9:40 p.m. The crowd inched up, but there was still plenty of room on the Goose patio and only a dozen people watched the show outside the see-through patio.
Coolio came on stage with his posse, but from the minute he opened his mouth the sound was a disaster.
The entire 45-minute set sounded like Coolio and his gang were rapping underwater. People tried standing up front, in the back of the patio and inside the club — and it didn’t get better. By the time the set was half-over, a chunk of the crowd had meandered to the back rooms or left the venue.
Coolio ran through several mind-numbing rap numbers like “Let’s Get Stupid,” but even great tunes like “From the Bottin 2 The Top” got mangled in the really bad sound mix.
The rapper didn’t make any apologies for the sound, but Coolio did spend a good deal of the 45-minute show yelling out motherfucker. Whatever other words surrounded the f-bomb were mushed up in the sound — though something about Boulder and cocaine did manage to come through.
The show was over in less than 50 minutes, though Coolio and his gang did manage to come back out for a distorted-sounding encore of “Gangsta’s Paradise.” That number did rally the remaining crowd and they shouted out all the lyrics.
That was too late for the few people that gathered to watch outside The Goose. By the time the encore hit, there was only one really bad breakdancer performing out on the sidewalk.
Before the clock struck midnight, word on this comedy of errors hit the streets of Boulder. It was the buzz heard round town this weekend.
After seeing Lyrics Born throw down an amazing Friday night set at the Fox, Coolio needs to seriously re-think his game.